Month: February 2014
This winter while in Alaska, my lovely mother-in-law taught me to paint watercolours. I am in love! I relax when I paint and the world fades away, plus the best part is I feel connected to my Creator when I create.
The picture above is a watercolour I did for some dear family members of ours. This family is one of warmth, authenticity, love and fun. This family recently endured something that I cannot even begin to fathom and if I am honest never want to. They have two beautiful children but sadly lost their third child, Levi Joshua. He was gorgeous! Tiny but perfect in many ways. This family has been open and have shared this journey as they have plowed their way through the piles of emotions that would obviously surface when this kind of tragedy hits. All I can say is that they have walked the faithful walk of trust even without understanding. Grace when they would have preferred bitterness. They inspire me to love God for who He is, not what He does and gives us. Those things are part of God’s nature, but at the end of each day, my (or your) circumstances will never and can never dictate the character of God. For that I am forever grateful.
As I go to bed each night I pray now, more than I ever have, for this little life that is growing inside of me. I thank God for him/her. I pray our child/ren come to know Jesus and who He really is at a young age. I pray for joy, peace and passion for life. As I pray, my heart also wanders to those who are still waiting. Waiting for their breakthrough. Waiting for God to take their pain away and to change their situation. Waiting for the anger that comes from miscarriage to subside. Waiting for the jealousy of another persons joy to fade, even just a little bit. I feel the tension here, in this place.
That was our story for 8 years. Every announcement made that wasn’t ours, every baby gift bought that wasn’t for our baby, every dedication that wasn’t ours. So as much as I am rejoicing, completely elated with the moments we are living in right now and soaking it all in. My heart is still breaking for my friends or your friends who I either know personally or who I have only heard of that are still waiting.
As a follower of Jesus, the one thing that I couldn’t contain was my hope that someday we would have a family. I had let go of the specifics of this a long time ago but hadn’t let go of the desire and innate yearning to be a mother, to see Bryan cradle our children, to see our family expand. Today I encourage those who are still in the waiting…there is always hope. For those who are praying for someone, pray they do not lose hope. It truly is the anchor of our souls and true hope is only found in Jesus. Pray they keep their eyes on Him. He is overly aware of every thought, feeling and circumstance in our lives. Nothing sneaks by Him so put your hope and trust in Him. We are still standing with you in this gap.